Living the Dash

This week has been a whirlwind. Tonight was no different. With the recent loss of Mom, I still find myself going through waves of grief, tears that come unexpectedly, and moments where I feel completely undone. Tonight I found myself at the grocery store, fresh from visiting her graveside and still fighting back tears. My mascara was a mess, and to add insult to injury, my flip-flop chose that moment to break.

So there I was, hobbling through the aisles, one shoe scuffling along, trying to gather what I needed. I caught a reflection of myself in the freezer section and couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. It was a far cry, in my tie dye t-shirt and Bucee’s Gas Station hair clip, from my usual self.

It struck me that years ago, I might have been quick to judge someone in that state, wondering how they could possibly venture out in public looking so disheveled. How many times have we all silently criticized others for not looking “perfect,” for appearing vulnerable or imperfect? But life, especially in the last decade and this recent loss, has taught me a profound lesson: life is messy, and we’re all just doing our best to navigate it. Beneath the surface, we’re all fragile, all imperfect, life throws us all unexpected blows, and that sometimes, our “best” is simply showing up.

Tonight, my “best” was a tear-streaked face, a broken shoe, and a tangled mess of hair. And so, I challenge you, the next time you see someone who looks like a “hot mess” (as we Southerners like to say), shift your perspective. See the humanity in the “hot mess”, the strength in the struggle. Remember that they might be carrying a heavy burden, fighting a silent battle, or simply having a really bad day. We’re all human, and we all deserve compassion. If you see someone struggling, disheveled, or simply not at their best, remember that you don’t know their story. Offer empathy instead of judgement. A smile, a nod, a moment of understanding – those are the acts of grace we all need.